I will lay me down

Watched an amazing version of "a bridge over troubled water" on American Idol

what an amazing message, so timely

When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/simon+and+garfunkel/#share

my heart broke today

I found out this afternoon that someone who I care for, that I've learned to love, to respect, to enjoy the company of, likely has cancer. Ovarian cancer. And my heart broke. She is one of the most dedicated giving conscientious people I know, she cares, she is true and she lives her life on her terms. And as we know, cancer is not fair, there is no justice, it just happens. I'm sure bad people get cancer, and I don't think that is OK, but it just feels so wrong that someone who was ready to live the next stretch of her life may not get that chance.

So I called her, it was hard, what do you say? But seriously it's not about me, so buck up klow. She is scared and so am I, the emotion was raw, we both feel it, but we move past it to discuss things in the same way we always do. She explains everything to me, she wants me to know. I will be with her on this journey, this is intractable, not that I want to retract, but this is the first time I have been so strongly pulled on another's journey, a battle, with odd's that are formidable. I know she will fight, and somehow I know I will fight beside her. I've never felt this kind of commitment before, cancer has not touched me that closely. I am the practical one, sometimes the detached, pragmatic one. I will be there is she needs me. The surgery will be soon, the chemo will start and I somehow know it will be hard, I don't know if she will ever return to work she was doing after this, she will see other purpose to her life. But we are forever joined by our time together at work, she sustained me at work in ways she may not know, I need to sustain her now.

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

Someone put this in a Facebook Post. What he intended I may never know, but it brought a memory to the surface for me. When I was young, around 12 I think, there was a death in the small northern community that I grew up in. A young man, a friend of my brother's died. My memory is hazy, for some reason I think he chose death, and it was a suicide, but I also remember that he was young, foolish perhaps, and without a doubt, drinking way too much, and driving a snowmobile way too fast on ice that was way too thin. But my true memory is of this song. Somewhere in that sequence of events, this song was played, and it resonated. Forever after, for me, this song is about how much harder we can try to support the ones we care about, and that we can carry a burden for someone else for a while when it becomes too heavy for them. We can prevent the loss of a beautiful soul. I learned long ago as a "young/naive" counsellor that I could give energy. This is how we lift emotional pain and carry the burden for a short time, allowing another soul a reprieve. If I am emotionally healthy and strong I can do that, I share strength and give that gift to another. Simply by being open to the idea of plenty. There is enough to go around. No one is too heavy, we are all brothers. My life is good, let me share that with you, I have plenty.

blogging

something I must begin to do